Did you grow up with a pessimist mother? Does the negativity surrounding her make it tough to live your life? Are you tired of being dictated on what you should or shouldn’t do?
Do you feel like she has too much control over your life because whenever you try something new in your life, she has to be a part of it?
Do you want her to stop being pessimistic forever, finally get along well, and have a good relationship with yourself, just like mothers and daughters normally have in the society? This article will teach you how to deal with a pessimistic mother.
As much as we hate to admit it, most mothers are pessimists. This is the reason why they think their child would fail at something right after he/she succeeds at it.
It’s annoying, we know. But let’s face it: sometimes our moms are right when they say we fail, but that doesn’t mean that you should dump your mother in a nursing home because she wants the best for you.
Now, in case you’ve got a pessimistic mom, here are some ways on how to cope with her. When it comes to getting along with a pessimistic mother, the “secret” is implementing the right tools.
A pessimistic mother’s negativity can start to wear you down (and no one likes that).
You’re in college or working hard to make a good life for yourself and it’s understandable if you want out of the house.
But your relationship with your mom isn’t just about your happiness. It’s also about hers.
Reasons Why Your Mother is Pessimistic
Whether it comes from the experience of raising a child or being a mother in general, many women have a sense of pessimism when it comes to their children’s futures.
This can be damaging to a child’s self-esteem and even his career prospects depending on how deeply he internalizes his mother’s words.
When was the last time you remembered a positive prompt from your mother? Chances are you probably didn’t. Because if there is one thing mothers are great at, it’s being negative.
The more positive we can be in our outlook, the better time we’ll have and the happier we’ll be. When it comes to motivating others, no one does it better than mom.
Have you ever wondered about the reasons why your mother is pessimistic and how to deal with it? Maybe it’s just a mom thing.
Maybe your mom loves to think the worst of these things when there are many reasons why her reaction should be the complete opposite.
Here are some reasons why she might be overly pessimistic:
1. She always thinks the worst
If your mom is always worried about something bad happening, she’s probably going to find something to worry about.
So don’t give her any ideas by talking about the things that could go wrong in your life. Instead, focus on the good things and how they’ll make things even better than they already are.
If she is always looking for something negative in every situation, don’t take it personally, this isn’t about you. It’s just something that happens with pessimism sometimes.
You can try talking to her about it, but chances are she won’t listen or understand where you’re coming from because this is just who she is at this point in her life.
2. She’s afraid of change
If you love to try new things, a pessimistic mother might be difficult to deal with because she hates change and will do anything to avoid it.
If you have an idea or plan that involves a lot of changes, like moving or changing jobs, she’ll probably try to talk you out of it to keep you safe from harm even if there’s no real danger involved.
3. She’s impatient
Pessimistic mothers are usually impatient people who want everything done immediately, whether it’s cooking dinner or cleaning the house, or doing homework with the kids.
They don’t like waiting around and are always in a hurry to get things done as fast as possible so they can move on to something else without wasting time on unnecessary details that don’t matter much anyway.
4. She is worried about the future
A pessimistic mother cannot enjoy the present moment because she is always worrying about what might happen next.
If you try to talk to her about something that happened today, or something you’re looking forward to tomorrow, she will quickly change the subject.
The present moment holds no interest for her. If your mother is constantly worrying about what could go wrong in life, it can be hard to understand why she does this.
It’s important to remember that her negative attitude isn’t about you or anyone else in particular, it’s just how she deals with life.
5. She fears the unknown
Pessimistic mothers often have trouble making decisions because they fear making mistakes or being wrong about something important (which they see as inevitable).
They may be indecisive when it comes to getting themselves out of bed on time, going grocery shopping, or any other task that requires taking action at a specific time and place even if there’s no real reason for hesitation.
6. She doesn’t want you to take things for granted
She’s probably afraid that if you don’t work hard now, then one day when things get tough, you won’t appreciate them anymore.
If this sounds like your mother, then she has good intentions even if they come across a little harsh sometimes.
Pessimistic mothers want you to appreciate what you have instead of taking it for granted.
They also want you to work hard and not give up when things get tough because they believe that nothing comes easy or without effort.
7. She’s a perfectionist
Your mom might have been taught that everything has to be perfect and done right and she expects you to follow the same rules.
Because of this attitude, she may be hard on you if things don’t go exactly as planned or if you don’t reach certain goals.
8. She grew up with a critical parent
A negative attitude can be passed down through generations like a family heirloom.
For example, if your mother grew up with a critical parent who always seemed to find fault in everything, she might have learned to judge situations as bad or worse than they actually are.
Even if you don’t share this trait with your mom, she may have picked up some of the same habits from being around you over the years.
Tips on How to Deal With a Pessimistic Mother
Do you have a pessimistic mother who keeps you down? Do you love her as much as she loves you but just want her to let off your back sometimes?
Everyone knows about the power of positive thinking. It helps deal with stressful situations at work and have a good time.
But what about dealing with an optimistic mother? Some mothers tend to be pessimistic, which can cause undue stress to the child especially when she expects her child to succeed without fail.
This article offers some tips on what you can do in dealing with a pessimistic mother.
Dealing with a pessimistic mother can be a tough thing, especially if you and your mother share a close relationship.
Since pessimism is such a negative and unhappening attitude toward life, it can make one reflect in a similar way which I would urge you not to do.
9. Understanding the source of her pessimism
The first step in dealing with a pessimistic mother is understanding why she is so negative all the time.
Pessimism can come from many different sources: childhood experiences, trauma, emotional instability ,or even chemical imbalances in the brain.
A therapist can help you understand where these feelings come from so that you can work together with your mother towards healing them instead of fighting against them every day.
10. Stay neutral
Don’t try to argue, convince, or reason with a pessimistic mother
It’s tempting to argue with a pessimistic mother, but she isn’t likely to be convinced. She believes what she believes and will not change her mind unless something drastic happens in her life.
Arguing with her will only make it worse and may cause a rift between you and her.
If she starts to get angry or upset, try saying something like “Mom, I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if I said anything that made you upset.” This can help her calm down and move on to another subject of conversation.
11. Don’t take her comments personally
A pessimistic mother’s negative comments are most often not aimed at you personally or because she doesn’t like who you are as a person.
She may just be having a bad day and lashing out at the first thing that comes along.
If this happens often, it may mean that she is unhappy with herself and wants someone else to blame for it so that she doesn’t have to look at herself honestly and deal with any problems head-on (which would require effort).
12. Give her a chance to share complaints
A pessimistic mother tends to complain about everything, and she may see no value in anything you do.
When she starts complaining, allow her to vent by asking questions or offering suggestions. This gives her a chance to be heard without feeling judged or criticized.
13. Give her something to be optimistic about
It’s important for a pessimistic mother to feel good about herself and others around her. Find something positive that she does well, such as making delicious meals or baking cakes from scratch.
Praise this accomplishment every time it comes up in conversation so that she begins to associate positivity with herself and others instead of negativity.
14. Talk to her about her concerns
You can’t change someone else’s behavior, but if you have an honest conversation with your mom about what she does that bothers you, she may be able to change some of it on her own.
If not, then try taking matters into your own hands by finding ways around her negativity.
15. Deal with the problem, not the person
It can be hard not to take things personally when someone is pessimistic all the time especially when they’re coming from someone who’s supposed to care about you but remember that being pessimistic isn’t necessarily a reflection of who your mom is as a person; it’s just part of who she is right now.
What to Say to Someone Who is Pessimistic
Mothers are supposed to be optimists, so why are some pessimistic? Pessimism by mothers can feel frustrating.
However, there may be good reasons for the pessimism exhibited by a mother toward someone else. A psychologically healthy parent can tell you that the first step in handling a challenging person is to try and understand their perspective.
This article provides you with hints on what to say to someone who is pessimistic, how to understand and how to deal with a pessimist with a negative outlook.
Finding the right words to deal with a pessimistic mother is one of the most challenging. Are you in a conversation with a mother who is having a pessimistic outlook on life?
The good news is, there are things you can say to cheer them up. Check out some of the best quotes and phrases to give them some optimism.
1. Look on the bright side.
2. I’m sure you could look at this more positively.
3. I hear what you are saying but I don’t think it’s true.
4. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
5. Try to see your glass as half full.
6. The sky isn’t falling.
7. When you look at your life, what’s the worst possible outcome?
8. The only way to know if you’re right is time.
9. Is that really the way you want to live?
10. What are you doing about it, if anything?
11. You’re going to make yourself sick worrying about it.
12. I don’t know what to do about the problem. But this is my solution.
A good person will help a pessimist by giving them advice that might help them see their situation in a different light.
FAQ
How do you deal with a moody mother?
The first step to dealing with a moody mother is to keep your cool and not let it affect you too much.
Don’t take her moodiness personally, because it probably isn’t about you.
She may just be having a bad day or feeling stressed about something else in her life.
If she’s always in a bad mood, then you might need to talk to her about it and find out what’s going on and how you can help fix the
problem.
If there’s nothing wrong, then she’ll have no problem telling you so.
Can parents cause social anxiety?
Yes! If your parent was overprotective, you may have learned that you couldn’t cope with life’s challenges and so developed an anxiety disorder.
Your parent may have been so anxious that they were unable to cope with their own emotions and so took them out on you instead (by shouting at you or criticizing you).
Can a negative mother make me negative too?
Yes, a negative mother can make you negative too.
If you don’t have the tools to deal with her, you may end up being dragged down by her negativity.
Final Thought
Mothers at times have a way of making everything in life seem more stressful than it is. Don’t let her negative outlook take away everything that is good in your life.
With the right amount of support and understanding on your end, you will be able to endure and move beyond this difficult time in better condition than before.
Most importantly, don’t let your mother’s negativity get you down. Just remember that she’s likely not giving you her best advice.
Remember that your mother loves you, whether she says it or not.
And always remember that you are in control of your own life, you can choose to be optimistic, and you can find ways to use your experiences to make yourself stronger.
