At the beginning of any relationship, partners focus on bringing out the best in each other and spend a great deal of time thinking about what their partner likes and dislikes.
They pay great attention to special occasions, holidays and make a concerted effort to spend quality time together.
If anything goes wrong it’s an easy fix. As a relationship matures and we become accustomed to being with our partner, daily habits become ingrained; life continues as usual without making any adjustments for our partner. This could be a reason why your partner takes you for granted.
We no longer think twice about whether or not we should pick up our dirty socks or hang up our bath towels.
After years of building what is now familiar, unspoken rules regarding the everyday functioning of our relationship occur.
These norms are rarely ever discussed but have a huge impact on how your partner feels. If you’re sick of your partner taking you for granted consider changing the things you take for granted in your relationships that lead to this behavior.
Being taken for granted by your partner is something most of us would hope to never experience. Throughout life, we’ve learned that respect and trust are two important elements in any relationship.
These key elements are often broken intentionally or unintentionally through actions and words which normally lead to a breakup.
Does your partner take you for granted? Did you know that taking someone for granted is one of the biggest relationship killers?
The problem isn’t just that it makes it hard to feel appreciated. It’s also a powerful predictor of relationship breakdown.
If you’re wondering, why your partner takes you for granted and how to stop your partner from taking you for granted, then start by answering this question: What do you take for granted in a relationship?
Have you ever felt that your partner takes you for granted and ignores you? This can be common in long-term relationships. Here are reasons why this happens and how to stop it.
Reasons Why Your Partner Takes You for Granted
Sometimes we can end up taking things for granted. For a relationship, this could be the other partner.
It’s easy to fall into that trap of thinking they should know what we want and that they should get it right because they’re our partners.
That may be the issue here. You deserve respect as much as they do. When it comes to our significant others, explaining why we feel like they take us for granted can be difficult.
We’re too afraid to speak up about how we feel because we fear being wrong or worse, being ignored.
It’s easy to point the finger at our partners and accuse them of taking us for granted when in fact it’s none of their faults.
They only act the way they do because of a combination of our actions, issues in ourselves, and some of the things in life that wear down our relationships.
Our partners just respond to these emotional hardships by not paying as much attention to us, which isn’t fair to them either.
But it doesn’t mean there aren’t steps you can take to try and change your relationship and make sure you are not guilty of perpetuating the cycle.
A relationship is hard work and it’s not always easy. Your partner’s behavior is probably the reason why you’re reading this article.
You know, what you’re asking yourself is: Is this normal? Should I stay? Can it be fixed? Well, before we start talking about how to fix things, let’s dive into the reasons why your partner takes you for granted.
1. You don’t make any rules that matter to you in the relationship
If you don’t have any rules, then your partner will take you for granted. It’s important to set some boundaries so that they know what you expect from them.
For example, if you want them to be home by a certain time so that you can spend time together, then tell them this rule.
If you don’t set any rules, then there’s nothing for them to follow and they may not even realize that their behavior is a problem.
2. They don’t feel like they need to impress you anymore
When someone takes you for granted, it means that they no longer care about impressing you or making sure that they are doing everything right.
When they no longer feel like they need to impress you, it’s easy for them to slip into this bad habit without realizing it’s happening.
This can be especially true when they’ve been dating for a long time and have settled into a comfortable routine with each other where there aren’t many surprises anymore or anything new to look forward to.
3. They take you for granted because they feel entitled
If your partner is taking you for granted, they likely feel entitled to your loyalty and love.
They may be under the impression that, because you’ve been together so long or have gone through so much together, you’re obligated to stick around no matter what.
These types of people often believe relationships should simply be taken for granted and if you don’t like it, well then, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
For some reason, these types of partners feel as though their significant other should just be grateful they’re with them. But that’s not how relationships work at least not healthy ones.
4. They think you’ll always be there
Your partner may be taking you for granted if they believe that relationships are one-sided and that people shouldn’t have to work at them.
They think that as long as the relationship exists, it will continue without any effort needed from either party involved.
5. They can’t appreciate what they have
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of people who take their partners for granted is that they don’t appreciate what they have.
They just assume that everything will always be fine and they don’t have to work at keeping the relationship strong and healthy.
6. You’ve stopped responding to their bad behavior
This one can be tricky because, on one hand, you want to stop taking your partner for granted but at the same time, you don’t want them to feel like they can get away with anything either.
The best thing to do is give them a warning and then let them know what it would take for you to leave them if the situation doesn’t change.
Signs Your Partner Takes You for Granted
Most relationships should be healthy and balanced. Both partners take each other for granted and both are supposed to give back to the relationship when necessary.
However, in some relationships, you might be taking your partner for granted without even realizing it.
What does taking your partner for granted mean? If your partner is taking you for granted. You have reason to be concerned, as there are known indicators that may predict if your partner is, indeed, taking you for granted.
Not all of these reasons will apply to everyone, but if you notice several of these signs occur together with your partner, it’s probably time to step back and reevaluate the current relationship status.
Maybe you’ve seen the signs and brushed them off, or maybe you haven’t even realized it yet. It could be either way, but the fact is, most people experience being taken for granted within their relationship.
It happens when your partner thinks you should read their mind or expects you to know what they want or need. You know it, we all do.
It’s when your partner does something that ticks you off and you find yourself thinking: “How can he be so inconsiderate?” I’m talking about the times when your partner doesn’t make an effort to put your needs first.
Or when she forgets about something important. And we all know there are many reasons for this behavior — none of which we, enjoy dwelling on. Here are some signs your partner takes you for granted and how to stop it.
7. Your partner is never there for you
Your partner is never there when you need him/her to be. They make excuses and don’t listen to your problems, but they will rush over as soon as they have a problem of their own.
This is a sign that they don’t care about you enough to be there when you need them most.
8. Your partner treats you like a child and makes excuses
When a person stops making an effort to make their significant other feel special, it’s a sure sign that they take them for granted.
Some partners will even make excuses for themselves saying that they didn’t do anything wrong or that it wasn’t their fault.
This shows that they don’t care about their partner’s feelings at all and only care about themselves.
9. You often feel used
If you find yourself constantly feeling used by your partner, there might be some issues with your relationship.
Try talking to them about the problem and see if they can change their behavior towards you. If they refuse to make any changes, then it might be time to end the relationship altogether.
10. You are constantly being compared to others
You should never be compared with other people by your partner because it will create issues between the two of you.
If they continue doing this no matter how many times you tell them not to do so, then they will eventually stop caring about what you think or feel altogether because they believe that their opinion matters more than yours does.
11. Arguments never get resolved in your relationship
This is a big one. If arguments in your relationship never get resolved, it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
When you argue and things aren’t settled, it takes a toll on the relationship. It wears down the bond between you and your partner, and it makes you feel like you’re not being heard or validated.
12. Your partner is not very attentive or responsive to your needs
Another sign that your partner takes you for granted is if they’re not very attentive or responsive when it comes to meeting your needs.
If they don’t remember things that are important to you like birthdays, anniversaries, or other dates, then this is another sign that they may be taking advantage of you without realizing it.
How to Stop Your Partner From Taking You for Granted
We all want to be appreciated and valued by the person who we promised to stay with throughout our lifetime.
But most of the time, this appreciation is the last thing that we get from our partners. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been with your partner for months or years it’s completely natural that if you aren’t vigilant, you can fall into an “It’s all too much trouble” trap.
This often happens to couples when they start taking each other for granted. It’s no wonder, what with life being so busy and all.
If you’re in a relationship, you know how it can get — you get so comfortable with your partner that they start taking you for granted.
Do you find that your partner takes you for granted sometimes? And do not know the reasons why your partner takes you for granted.
Are things getting so bad that the only solution you can think of is a breakup?
In some relationships, it’s not uncommon for one partner to take the other one for granted.
For most people, they don’t even realize they’re doing this until they are aware of the problem and discuss it with their partner or someone close.
Every long-term relationship has a point that comes without any warning when your partner starts taking you for granted.
It’s the point where one person stops making an effort to make their relationship work. If you want to stop your partner from taking you for granted, It’s time to put an end to it.
Here’s how to stop your partner from taking you for granted.
13. Do not overlook the problem
If you feel like your partner is taking you for granted, it’s important to recognize and acknowledge that feeling.
You can’t fix something if you don’t know what’s wrong. If you think that this is just an issue with your partner and don’t think it is serious enough to make any changes in your relationship, then you need to re-think it.
If you start ignoring these signs, then they will only get worse with time and eventually lead to bigger problems in your relationship.
14. Communicate
Communicating with your partner about how they make you feel is a crucial step in working through this problem.
If you’ve been feeling taken for granted, tell them how their actions or words made you feel.
This doesn’t mean that you need to give unsolicited advice or criticism; simply share what they’ve done so they can understand where the problem stems from.
15. Make self-care a priority
It’s important to take care of yourself first before trying to change your partner’s behavior. If you’re overwhelmed or stressed out, it will be hard for you to stay calm when confronting your partner.
Instead, start by taking time off from work, go on a weekend getaway, or schedule a spa day with friends.
The more relaxed and happy you are, the better equipped you’ll be to handle any conflict that comes up between the two of you.
16. Set boundaries and stick to them
If you want to stop taking each other for granted, setting clear boundaries is the first step toward getting there.
When things get hard, it’s tempting to let your partner take over and do everything for you especially if you have a history together where they have always taken care of things for you in the past.
But if you don’t set boundaries from the start and stick to them, this behavior will continue into your relationship and grow worse over time until it becomes just another way that you take each other for granted.
17. Stop doing things for your partner that they can do on their own
If you always pay the rent or make dinner because it’s easier than having them pitch in, they may be getting the idea that they don’t have to contribute.
It’s okay to help out when needed but only if it doesn’t become a pattern. If there are times when they need help with something, offer your assistance instead of doing it yourself every time.
18. Stop trying to control your partner
When people feel like someone is trying to control them, they tend to get annoyed and resentful which usually leads them to feel taken advantage of (or even used).
To avoid this situation with your partner, stop trying to control what they say or do; instead, focus on being supportive of their decisions and ideas (even if you don’t agree with them).
19. Give him a chance to make things better
If your partner has been neglecting you lately, give him/her a chance to make things better before jumping to conclusions about whether or not he/she is still interested in the relationship.
Perhaps something is going on at work or with friends that is causing them stress and making it hard for them to focus on their relationship right now.
Or maybe they’re just stressed out due to the holidays approaching—when everyone seems more irritable than usual.
Whatever the case may be, give him/her some space and time before deciding whether or not this relationship has run its course yet.
20. Don’t be afraid to say no
If your partner has been taking advantage of you, then chances are that he’ll try to get away with as much as possible while giving as little as possible in return.
If this is happening in your relationship, then don’t be afraid to say no when he asks for something from you.
This will show him that there are limits on what he can ask from you and other people in general.
Final Thought
Ultimately, the only way to stop your partner from taking you for granted is to stop putting up with it.
It’s easy to excuse their behavior as a product of their stress or to blame yourself and take on all the responsibility when things don’t go perfectly, but all of that does you no good in the end.
You deserve someone who appreciates you for all that you are, not who takes you for granted because they feel entitled to your love and affection.
If you feel that they barely pay attention to you or treat you poorly, then you have a right to be upset.
By implementing these strategies, you can overcome this problem and improve the quality of both your relationship and life in general.
