Many of us claim that we would never forgive the betrayal, but when it occurs, and the cheater swears that he will never make this mistake again, we forget about our pride and give it a second chance.
What if the partner does not deserve forgiveness and his repentance is another lie? In this article, We’ll look at the signs that the cheater does not really repent.
Why is it So Painful?
Cheating on a partner is probably one of the most painful emotional experiences. The betrayal of a loved one breaks our hearts. Nothing beats the pain, fear, and rage that we feel when we find out that a partner has cheated on us.
The feeling of monstrous betrayal engulfs. It seems to many that they will never be able to trust a partner or anyone else. Upon being offended so much once, it is hard for people to open up again.
Nevertheless, perhaps you still love this person and want to stay together, of course, if they no longer show the past behavior and make every effort to restore relations.
Most likely, your partner falls apart in an apology and assures you that they did not want to hurt you so much. But you are well aware that this is not enough and will never be enough.
They will have to make a lot of effort to restore mutual trust, to become completely honest and open in everything. Surely they will decide to do this, even promise.
Nevertheless, it is possible that in the future, you will again break your heart. Here are 7 signs that the wrong partner has not repented and does not deserve forgiveness.
Clear Signs that the Cheater Does Not Really Repent
1. They continue to cheat
Too many people are prone to cheating and are simply not able to stop, despite the consequences. In some ways, they resemble drug addicts. They continue to talk to a single woman online or meet with someone on the side, even when they were exposed and their whole life begins to fall apart.
Fortunately, this does not apply to everyone. Many, after the exposure, deeply repent and make every effort to make amends without repeating past mistakes. But some cannot or do not want to stop and continue to cause suffering to the partner.
2. They continue to lie and keep secrets from you
When the fact of treason is revealed, the perpetrators are usually inclined to continue lying, and if they are forced to admit everything they reveal only part of the truth, continuing to keep their secrets.
Even if they no longer cheat, they continue to deceive partners in something else. For a person who has survived betrayal, such deception can be no less painful than treason itself.
3. They blame everyone but themselves for the incident
Many partners who have cheated justify and explain their behavior, transferring the blame for what happened to someone else or something else. For an afflicted partner, this can be painful.
It is very important that the violator fully accepts responsibility for what happened. Unfortunately, many not only do not do this but even try to shift the blame for treason on a partner.
4. They apologize and expect to be forgiven immediately
Some cheaters think it’s enough to apologize, and the conversation is over. They are very unhappy or start to get angry when they realize that their partner has a different opinion on this matter.
They do not understand that their betrayals, lies, and secrets have destroyed all the trust between them and that you cannot forgive the partner until he deserves this forgiveness, proving that he has learned his lesson.
5. They are trying to “buy” forgiveness
A typical erroneous tactic of many partners after the betrayal is to try to regain your affection and trust by “bribery,” giving flowers and jewelry, and inviting them to restaurants.
Even intimacy can be considered an act of bribing the partner. If your significant other tried to appease you in this way, you already know that this does not work.
Gifts, no matter how expensive and thoughtful they are, are not able to heal the wounds caused by cheating.
6. They are trying to control you with aggression and threats
Sometimes, in order to “calm down” a fairly angry partner, the cheater begins to threaten with divorce, the cessation of financial support, or something else.
In some cases, they manage to intimidate a partner and make them obey. But they don’t understand that their behavior destroys the emotional closeness in a couple.
7. They are trying to reassure you
Many partners, when the cheating gets revealed, say something like: “Dear, calm down, nothing bad happened. You know that I love you and have always loved you. You make an elephant out of a fly.”
If you have ever heard something like this, you are well aware that such attempts to calm (even if it succeeds for a while) will never be able to restore the trust lost after the betrayal.
Moreover, listening to this is very painful because the partner makes it clear that you do not even have a right to be angry because of their act.
Conclusively, if you decide to give the cheater a second chance, (and that is your right,) be aware that you are creating a potential comeback. Once they cross this line, you must choose what to do so that this does not happen again.
