Love is an abstract concept in most cultures. For some of us, love is when you make the perfect date, or when your significant other tells you they want to marry you, or when they propose. For others, it is when your best friend (or guy/girl) falls for you.
Sometimes it is when you receive a bouquet, or when someone you’ve never met pays you a compliment, etc. But with all these, you should never say I love you if you don’t really care; until some clarity is settled in your heart – never say I love you if you don’t mean it.
Are you about to have a serious relationship? Then you should know when to say the 3 most important words everyone wants to hear ”I love you” and when to never say I love you if you don’t mean it.
Saying “I Love You” is not easy, I think everyone could tell you that. For example, sometimes when you say it, you are showing your affection or your admiration to someone; but sometimes, it is the complete opposites, and what you express is something like obsession or desperation.
People fall in and out of love everyday but the one person who wouldn’t think twice about saying it are those who have never loved at all. These questions below are for you if you have difficulty knowing if you should say those wonderful words or never say I love you if you don’t really care about him/her.
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When to Never Say I Love You if You Don’t Really Care
Are you of the sect that keeps saying ‘my boyfriend (girlfriend) doesn’t say I love you or he doesn’t say I love you but shows it and that gets you confused? What if he said I love you once and never again?
It could put one in a dilemma and have you trying to comprehend the situation. Then you ask; ‘does he love me or not? This article is not some never say I love you quotes or poem, but to tell you how you should be careful to commit to a relationship that might be doubtful.
If you want to enjoy your relationships, you may want know when to never say I love you if you don’t really care or maybe never say I love you if you don’t mean it – if you aren’t sure where it is going. Here are some questions you should ask yourself to know just how to think the situation through.
1. Are you truly attracted to each other? It is necessary to ask yourselves this question, are you truly attracted to each other? You should know if your attraction towards each other is based on love or lust.
It is only then you will be able to categorically tell if the relationship is going somewhere or not. If you feel that your attraction is based on lust then you should never say I love you if you don’t mean it. This will help prevent falsehood.
2. Do you feel you love him enough? Love is vital apart from the attraction. If you cannot boldly say that you love him, then confessing love is hypocrisy. You might find yourself pondering the question “Do you love him enough”?
The answer to this question is within you, only you know to what length you are willing to go for him/her. So let the passion sink in and the desire to be together forever burned in your heart before you go ahead to declare your love for him. Until then never say I love you if you don’t really care.
3. Are there contradicting beliefs and passions? There’s nothing that could destroy a relationship as much as conflicts, different beliefs, and ways of life. So the question now is are there contradicting beliefs and passions? If there are, it could bring down the relationship from wherever you have built it up to.
It would bridge the gap and make trust difficult in case you have to engage in different things at different times. You would not even be able to communicate the same interest, passion, and purpose. You cannot tailor your heart’s affection into that kind of relationship.
4. Do you accept what you see or does the other person accept what they see? There’s a whole lot of difference between liking each other enough to agree together and being able to accept all that comes with the package that you are seeing. Most of the time, it is after you have committed to the relationship that you get to see what you signed up for.
When your other significant comes to ask you this trick question ”Do you accept what you see about me?,” be mindful of the answer you give because love means that you accept a person wholly.
You should be able to love each other the way you are and be sure you are ready to help each other cover up the weaknesses. If any of the party isn’t doing this or ready to do that, then you don’t say I love you if you don’t mean it to each other.
5. Can you say you love him or her and feel it from the heart? The mouth says things that sometimes are not well rooted in the heart. It can cross your mind and you end up saying it out. It still doesn’t validate the authenticity of your confession.
Take your time to learn to love from your heart and saying it wouldn’t be much of a burden, it would rather come so easily.
Never Say I Love You If You Don’t Mean It
These three words ‘I Love You’ are not just mere words, they are words that are meant to make one’s heart skip a beat when said or heard. Until you understand the meaning of these words, you should never say I love you if you don’t really care for your partner.
To avoid getting your partner’s hopes up and also building your relationships on lies and deceit, you should never attempt using those vital words. Not even in French, Spanish, German, or whatever language you speak, or that you feel could sound cute to the ears even if you don’t speak it. What matters is that you should never say I love you if you don’t mean it.
6. If perfection is what you want and you don’t see it? It takes time to be perfect, and some persons like yourself might be perfectionists. Don’t get me wrong, wanting the best isn’t wrong but it takes time to grow something that is not at its best into the perfect picture you want.
I speak to say that there’s no spotless and perfectly behaved individual yet, everyone learns and relearns every day. So, take out that criteria and learn to love him truly before going to say that you love him instead of saying it without meaning it.
But if perfection is what you want and you don’t see it, then save your other significant the stress of being hurt by never saying I love you.
7. Do you see yourselves together for long? A long-term goal at heart pushes you to do anything possible to keep the present situation functioning well. At a relationship camp, one of the questions you will be asked is ‘Do you see yourselves together for long?’
If you see a future for yourselves, then you can boost your bond of love with more confessions of love. This shouldn’t be one-sided, both you and your partner should see this. if not, then you should not try holding down what you don’t think is going to work out. Prevent a sudden and painful heartbreak in the nearest future.
8. Do you feel truly loved and do you truly love him? Love may not be easily accepted or identified, but when it comes, you know it is true. So, if you do not feel truly loved or if you do not truly love him, then why confess what is not consistent with your feelings. Love can grow and it is not limited to how you feel right now.
However, you can take your time to make time test out the feelings attached to your confirmation of the love that you both think you share.
9. Do you feel forced to stay in this relationship? No one enjoys being made to do something against their will. So while you are dating, you shouldn’t feel forced to stay in the relationship. If you are in a forced relationship, I think you need to sit down and re-think what you are into.
A natural love that evolved amongst partners who are friends is better as the foundation for a good relationship rather than one you feel forced or push to go into. Such love can be superficial and not genuine and what you say to each other may not mean anything in the long run.
10. Can you communicate well with him or her? Communication is key in making anything work out well. A relationship involving two persons who claim to love each other without communication will be nothing but struggle and trying to keep up with each other and this is a sign that you should never say I love you if you don’t really care.
It might look like you’re just trying to keep each other’s company if communication is out of it. If you can communicate well with your partner, it helps to expose all that you both have in your heart.
It makes you see each other the way you are and how you can help and become better for yourself and the other person. One of the keys that can sustain a good relationship is communication.
On this note, I would like you to remember this, never say I love you if you are blinded by emotions. That is, don’t be so carried away or overwhelmed with emotions that you would be saying I love you and not hearing it back, and still decide to get engaged with such a person.
I think that you can never say I love you too much because it’s a good way to show affection. And it would be good to never miss a chance or an opportunity to say I love you, and never forget to say I love you.
However, don’t say I love you if you don’t mean it. And I believe it is easy to love and make all relationships work if you put your heart into it and groom yourself to find the best in everybody.