The rate at which divorce is rising across the globe is out of proportion and is becoming a new normal. If you ask most couples why this is, they lost their flame or the fire didn’t burn like they thought it would burn, but again, whose fault is that? This means it came to their notice that there were signs of no love in marriage.
Marriage is a blessed union many desire to hop into like a boxing ring, with high hopes and adrenaline. But a lot of those who go in this way, return wounded and disappointed, and who is to blame?
People marry for various reasons; riches, love, fun, perhaps an arranged marriage et cetera. They go in and are shocked, this is not what they signed up for, and they begin to wonder, what to do when you’re not happy in marriage? Well, that is a sign that there are signs of no love in marriage.
Like apples don’t magically fall from a tree, it takes a process of planting and tending to bring growth and its eventual results. But couples run into issues (which every couple has), some worse than others create major issues in their marriage causing them to ask themselves, can a dying marriage be saved?
A marriage can fail due to a plethora of reasons but in it all, reality says you have to work to make your marriage work. You have to trust God and follow His principles, you can’t discard the founder of marriage and expect to perform a DIY operation on your marriage. You must spot these signs of no love in marriage, and combat them with our sprinkling of tips on what to do if there is no love in marriage.
Signs Your Marriage is Over for Men
On the men’s side, it is easier to know when there is trouble at home because men aren’t keepers like women (i.e they tend to keep a lot of stuff inside). Any signs of no love in marriage quickly show in men. There are a lot of signs your marriage is over for men that should be identified and worked on early.
When you notice these signs, don’t be a dramatist and begin to ask yourself, when should a couple give up on their marriage? Buckle up because you may have to gently and carefully confront your partner to open up, with love (not trying to pick a fight) when you see these signs your marriage is over for men.
1. A Habit of Staying Away from Home: This is one of the major signs of no love in marriage (if he’s not a workaholic or his work makes him do so) that indicates that he might be losing interest in the marriage. Men who are in love, although they have self-control, are eager to come home to their lover.
If you sense his desire to stay home fading (he always wants to go for a drink, take a walk, giving every excuse why he’s not home early, even on weekends!), it is a sign amongst other signs your marriage is over for men.
This grows into a habit, they are not finding comfort or excitement or happiness and they begin to seek it in other things; drinks, women, friends, work (it could be anything for anyone). The woman then begins to worry and it is one of the unhappy marriage signs you’ll get divorced.
2. He Becomes Cold and Quiet: He withdraws into himself and seems icy towards you, his warmth disappears and the one place you seek comfort is missing. Love and care are essential in marriage, the coldness makes it difficult to express and enjoy, hence, these two vital ingredients are crucial in making a marriage work.
Remember, though this is amongst the signs of no love in marriage, it doesn’t mean your marriage is over. Love is like a fire, it can be re-kindled with some effort as it doesn’t totally die out if it is true love.
Signs of a Failing Marriage
Many signs show the current condition of marriage and where it is headed. Most times we tend to ignore little signs which are the surest, and pay attention to the big fights and so on. These signs of a failing marriage depict that cracks that were not noticed are the ones that end up collapsing the entire structure.
If we just become a little more attentive to our spouse, we can catch these cracks as they begin to form and seal them up with love and care. But many don’t, which develops into a variety of signs of no love in marriage.
3. Lack of Care: This is a leading factor that shows your marriage is already falling apart. One or both spouses no longer show care to the other. At this point, the question comes in ‘can a marriage last without love?’ Care is one of the roots of love, if it dies, love dies too.
It becomes easy to ignore things about each other until you become strangers who live together. Is it hard then, to answer the question of why wives are unhappy in marriage? Women love attention, care, and to be doted upon, when a man who used to do this for her, withdraws his attention and care, it is a recipe for unhappiness.
4. Lack of Trust: When suspicion and questions, accusations, or arguments become too frequent, it is a clear sign of lack of trust. At this point, there is fear and anger, both are catalysts for a divorce.
In our overly-sensitive modern world, it begins with ‘I’m fine, It’s fine, there’s no problem,’ subtle signs of no love in marriage. Marriage is meant to be teamwork, but individuals involved don’t trust each other.
There is no such thing as marriage without a foundation of trust. According to research, most marriages heading toward divorce start from trust issues. Trust issues also arise from listening to a third party more than your spouse, no matter how close you are to the third party.
5. Lack of Proper Communication: naturally, some people aren’t just good at communicating but it is the foundation of a marriage. Most fights and misunderstandings arise due to bad communication skills.
This is one of the signs of no love in marriage. Bad communication easily breeds suspicion, lack of trust, disagreements et cetera. Communication plays a vital role in marriage and its absence becomes one of the major signs of a failing marriage.
How to Leave a Marriage Peacefully
Leaving a marriage could be one of the hardest things to do as it involves breaking a bond and connection that goes deeper than most. It becomes worse when there are children involved. A lot of divorce processes are usually quite painful and heartbreaking as all involved are dragged along if they don’t know how to leave a marriage peacefully.
Although children are one of the reasons why most spouses fail to leave their marriage even when they are suffering, it makes a complicated situation even more complicated. Hence, for those who really want to break free, here are tips on how to leave a marriage peacefully.
6. Don’t Make Things Worse: If you’re trying to escape a dangerous place, you do not begin to clang pans or sing at the top of your voice, you leave silently.
Likewise, when leaving a marriage, you do not anger your spouse beyond reason, you have limited time there, it is best to live it in peace (well, unless of course you have an advantage in angering your spouse beyond reason).
7. Use of Good Attorney: Well, there is no such thing as divorce in this day without an attorney or you stand losing a lot. Using the wrong attorney can make you lose a lot if you don’t get the proper advice.
It’s kind of a game, one can win or lose, and this makes it come with a lot of drama. But to know how to leave a marriage peacefully, one must get a great attorney and follow protocol.
8. Be a Friend: Though it is clear there is no love in marriage anymore, one would have to make sure you part ways, not on bitter terms but creating an avenue where you can still reach each other on a fairground.
Besides, who said you can’t be friends (well, not close friends) with your ex-spouse. It makes visits and occasionally bumping into each other less awkward and encourages mutual assistance.
Signs of a Bad Husband
The husband is the head of the family, which comes with a lot of responsibility into which many look into to find signs of a bad husband. If you want to judge on whether you have a bad husband or not, you first need to define what you see as bad.
People who don’t perform their responsibilities are seen as many things, lazy, cowardly, amongst others. But as a husband, not being responsible is just that, not being responsible. Who then is a bad husband? He clearly is among the reasons why there are signs of no love in marriage.
For those who ask ‘can a husband be bad?’ Absolutely. Why? Because there are bad things in the world, and husbands are among them. How? You wonder, here are our signs of a bad husband.
9. Insensitivity: men are not usually as sensitive as women, hence, they may not easily know what a woman is feeling at every moment, hence, the view that women are complicated. But this is a necessary skill all men (especially husbands) need. A woman may not speak straight, making it up to the man to figure out what she wants, is she angry, sad, moody or is it PMS?
As women are sensitive, they need someone who can read them. An insensitive man will step on his wife emotionally and sometimes psychologically, this is what a bad husband looks like.
10. Being a Know-It-All: One of the most annoying characters of a husband is this one. His nature of taking the lead makes him feel he knows what’s best most of the time, which can easily form a Know-it-all attitude.
This also makes them difficult to correct or help at times. A husband who cannot be corrected, choosing to be the Alpha and Omega of his home is among the signs of a bad husband.
Over time, this character, also attributed to pride or the male ego, can cause cracks in marriage which cause signs of no love in marriage. Pride is a slow poison in marriage, it breeds selfishness and breaks the marriage.
Signs a Man is Unhappy in His Marriage
Men are simple; not being as complicated as women also mean that they are easier to read. There are various signs a man is unhappy in his marriages which he portrays most times, unconsciously. His behavior is an obvious sign of no love in marriage.
11. Unsatisfaction: Where love is, there is contentment, not because it’s our nature but because we must remain committed and responsible. Unsatisfaction or discontentment is one of the true signs of no love in the marriage.
There are so many complaints, arguments, outbursts of anger, nothing you do satisfies him, this is because, what you were to him, he either doesn’t see you as that or he wants more than you.
12. Passive Aggressiveness: the worst kind of pain comes when someone you love shows signs of despising you, especially in a marriage. Those little jokes that used to be funny, in a passive-aggressive tone, become arrows meant to hurt.
This could result in mental abuse, and it is also a sign of no love in the marriage.
13. Claustrophobia: A fear of cramped spaces. Here, he is being choked by his own marriage, he is therefore unhappy. He might love you sincerely but a sign a man is unhappy in his marriage is he wants to get out of the marriage.
A sign of this is his jokes, he probably tells others marriage is a trap or a steam room meant to suffocate and so on. He may laugh when saying it but underneath it, is a sliver of truth.
14. Hunger Strike: it doesn’t mean he’ll go hungry, it just means that he’ll stop eating ‘your’ food. Men especially in Africa would do that, it is a sign they are unhappy with their wives. He is never hungry for your lovingly cooked meal anymore and would rather have take-out.
Undeniable Signs of No Love in Marriage
Something you can’t deny is the absence of love in a marriage. It can’t be hidden, though some are subtle at keeping a front for the public. There are undeniable signs of no love in marriage that must be investigated for anyone looking to hop into one.
15. The “I don’t care” attitude: As earlier implied, care is a major ingredient of love and without it, flaming passion reduces to cinders. This is one of the signs of no love in marriage, this involves ignoring your partner.
No one likes to be ignored, but your partner ignores you until it is clear that he no longer cares much for you or what is going on in your life, leaving you to handle many things alone. A very selfish attitude indeed.
16. Lack of Intimacy: Your partner may/may not be a romantic, but in marriage, intimacy is required because your partner has to be the person you are most intimate with, physically or emotionally.
When this is lacking, it is among the undeniable signs of no love in marriage. It becomes like a platonic friendship or worse. The bond of marriage is strong and one of the strongest cords in it is intimacy (romance).
17. Abuse: There can be no love where there is abuse in whatever form. Abuse is an expression of hate, which is the opposite of love. If there is physical, emotional, psychological, or whatever form of abuse in a relationship, especially a marriage, it is one of the major undeniable signs of no love in marriage.
Ways to Rebuild Love in Marriage
Marriage is a test of endurance, it tests a person’s patience. In the past, that cord wasn’t so easily broken but today it is one of the easiest things to do; divorce. A lot do not even attempt any of the ways to rebuild love in marriage. This is why this post on the ways to rebuild love in marriage is here for you.
A lot of people have learned how to be in a marriage without love, making it a prison house. It is best then to take to heart the counsel of ‘looking before leaping’ or evident signs of no love in marriage will appear soon enough.
18. Re-Discover Your Spouse: It is discovered many people marry a fantasy, seeing only what they want to see but marriage has its ways of opening the eyes and bursting that bubble.
You don’t actually know who you married, you have to begin the journey of rediscovering each other as you both are changing. Why many have trouble in marriage is because their spouse has changed and they don’t know how to accept that or help their growth process.
19. Bring Back the Romance: In marriage, one has to be creative because you’re going to have to discover different ways to spice things up in your marriage for the rest of your life.
Date nights, movie nights, getaways, adventures, or simple/less costly things like finding out what your partner really wants and doing it. It shows you care and love each other exactly as you are in that moment and is one of the most practical ways of rebuilding love in marriage.
20. Simply Being Humble: In marriage, a lot of correction is involved as a lot has to go; bad habits, attitudes, and mannerisms. But selfishly, we don’t want to change or grow but desire to be accepted for who we are.
Couples must be used to being corrected in love, and lovingly correcting. The major reason for divorce is couples don’t know how to respectfully correct each other and end up starting a big fight over something so little. It is pride and selfishness and crumbles love.
21. Respect: This is a major key in the ways of rebuilding love in marriage. Marriage is built on a foundation of mutual respect and there are many hurts when this is missing in a marriage. A broken home, especially one who does so harshly, has burnt any remaining respect that’s left in such a relationship.
To build respect, find what is deserving of respect in your spouse and hold on to it. Don’t be too critical, search for good traits and hold onto them more than the not-so-good ones. Can a marriage survive without love? Yes, not as it is meant to be, but because where there is mutual respect, there is a level of peace in the home.
22. Cultivating Communication Skill: A marriage is set to crash and burn when there is no proper communication skill. If there is no understanding of what each person is saying, there will be a lot of arguments and misunderstandings.
Hence, build your communication skills and make sure you use them. Make sure you understand each other when you speak, and don’t go to bed without clearing up issues that need to be talked about.
23. Seek Professional/Trusted Advice: This means to seek advice from professionals in marriage-related works, or from trusted individuals. You are not an island of knowledge, you need other people as much as you need each other in a marriage.
Don’t be afraid to cry out for help when you’re in need, and be sure you can trust who is helping you.
I hope our post on “23 Ignored Signs of No Love in Marriage No One Talks About” has helped you to spot signs your marriage is in trouble and helped deal with them.
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You can also share it on your social media platforms, send it to someone you feel might need it, and build more happy relationships. Be happy and spread love. Thank you.